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Movie title: Keeping Up with the Kardashians (2007)
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Genre : Reality-TV
This show can be so formulaic and stereotypical that it must be scripted–or improvised based on an outline the way “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is. But while “Curb” ends up being painfully funny, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” just ends up being painful.
I obviously have too much time on my hands because I have probably seen three or four episodes of this show. Having grown up in Worcester, Massachusetts, I suppose that I was intrigued by the idea of a show about an Armenian–American family—not that the Kardashians much resemble any Armenian-American family I have ever known (other than that they are often big).
My hope is that the show is scripted, because, otherwise, these people are evidently incredibly shallow, and they all seem to suffer from an attention deficit. In one episode, “Learning Self Defense,” a vandal comes to their shop, knocks merchandise about, and frightens the salesgirl. The Kardashian girls first decide to take a self-defense class for about 10 minutes, which leaves them brimming with overconfidence until step-dad and former Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner shows them that he can easily defeat them with very little effort. Rather than dedicate themselves to further lessons, the girls abandon this scheme, much the way that Wile E. Coyote, in the old Warner Brothers cartoons always tries a completely new scheme when the last one fails to provide instant gratification. Kris, the mom, then suggests that they go to a shooting range and learn to use pistols; however, after ten minutes the girls give up on this as well.
Not to be outdone in the stupidity department, the girls’ brother and one’s boyfriend come up with a hair-brained plan to disguise themselves as armed robbers in ski masks and stage a fake robbery in order to scare the girls into hiring a professional security service. It never occurs to them to try verbal persuasion or that it might be kindly of them to hire an hour of a security consultant’s time and have him talk to Kim at no cost to her. Good thing the girls hadn’t decided to acquire guns or they might have filled these two pranksters with lead. On the other hand, that might have been good for ratings.
Finally, has anyone asked whether or not the producers of “Deep Space 9″ had this family in mind when they created the aliens known as the Cardassians? True, there is not much resemblance other than that the Kardashians do not seem to be of this world.
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